Black and Blue Balls
by Waldo
Summary: “Little training accident,” John managed to grate out, his voice a good half octave higher than Carson remembered it.


Title: Black and Blue Balls  
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis  
Characters: Sheppard/Beckett (with Katie Brown)  
Word Count: 1597  
Rating: R  
Summary: "Little training accident," John managed to grate out, his voice a good half octave higher than Carson remembered it.

Black and Blue Balls  
by: Waldo.

Things had been blessedly calm in Atlantis for the past few days. Carson had been able to foist off all the hangnails and runny noses to others on his staff and spend a few days getting some honest-to-god research done. It was an incredibly nice change to be able to work with his microscopes and Petri dishes and mice without having a ticking clock looming over him.

But all good things must pass, and for Carson the solitude in his lab came to a crashing end with Katie Brown shrieking into her radio that he was needed in the gym immediately.

He arrived a few minutes later to see Colonel John Sheppard trying, unsuccessfully to push himself up to a standing position from where he was kneeling next to the wall. Katie was alternately trying to get him to stay down and apologizing. Several other scientists were standing around the room trying to decide what to do with themselves.

He knelt down next to Sheppard who was an alarming gray-green color. "What happened here?"

Katie blushed scarlet and tried to stammer a response, but nothing coherent would come out.

"Little training accident," John managed to grate out, his voice a good half octave higher than Carson remembered it.

Moving around in front of him, Carson could see how John was holding himself and quickly deduced what kind of accident it had been. He helped John stand mostly upright, but noticed that John couldn't quite lose the bent posture.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to –" Katie was trying again.

"It's okay, Dr. Brown," John said with enough exasperation that Carson figured he must have said that a couple dozen times already with no luck in lessening the girl's anxiety. He almost missed John mumbling, "It wasn't as if I was planning on having kids anyway." Carson wasn't sure if that was an oblique reference to their relationship or not, and under any other circumstances he would have elbowed John in the ribs. He thought about doing it anyway, but as he turned to glare at him he caught sight of John wincing as he again tried unsuccessfully to straighten and he held back.

Katie winced in sympathy as John grimaced and Carson smiled at her kindly. "If nothing else, lass, you've proven that you know where to aim if you ever find yourself in a scrape." He turned to John, "Can you walk to the infirmary or should I call for a gurney?"

Humiliated enough, John frowned at him. "I can walk. Just… you know, slowly."

Carson carefully didn't laugh or smile. At least not while John was looking at him. "Alright, then, I think this class is over for today." He slung one of John's arms around his shoulders and led him out of the gym and towards the nearest transporter.

John doubled over again as soon as the door to the transporter closed behind them. "Oh god…" he moaned, giving into the pain he hadn't wanted Dr. Brown to see. "That girl can kick."

"I suppose it would be pointless to ask why you were teaching self-defense without any protective gear."

"We were just going over the basic theories… we weren't going to put them in practice… yet." John tried to straighten up only to double over again. "Dr. Brown got distracted and didn't pull back in time."

Carson tousled John's hair affectionately. "Let's get you some meds and somewhere to lie down."

The lift dropped them just a few doors from the infirmary. John tried not to limp or hold himself too obviously, hoping no one would notice him coming in and he could pass off the infirmary visit as a general episode of 'not feeling well.' It was a given he'd be curling up in a little ball as soon as possible. He could make that look like a stomach ache… right?

Of course this was not to be. There were two nurses in the main ward when he came in. One of them was treating Rodney for what sounded like an allergy attack. With spring coming to Atlantis, a lot of people had started getting sniffly and Carson had been complaining the night before about the fact that they were likely to run out of pseudoephedrine before the _Daedalus_ would be able to re-supply them.

Carson helped John over to a table and drew the curtain. "Strip," he told him perfunctorily.

"Carson, it's just… you know what's wrong," John was unaccountably hesitant to show off his injured anatomy.

"Which is precisely why I need to examine you. Now come on, off with your clothes. I'll get you something for the pain." Carson patted John's leg and left him to wrestle with his clothes in private.

When he came back, he found John huddled under the thin sheet and blanket that hand been on the gurney. He handed him the pills and some soda to take them with. "Take these and then lay down."

John's eyes darted over to where the curtain was pulled close to the wall. "Shut the curtain."

"It's closed," Carson said.

"No it's not. Close it all the way."

Carson looked at John as if he were a four year old who was being difficult for the sake of being difficult, but pulled the curtain the three inches it needed to go to touch the wall. "Better?"

John didn't answer, knowing that if he said that it was that he'd have to get this exam over with.

Carson studied the pouting face for a second finally getting a little exasperated with the way John was acting. He shifted so that his back was against the edge of the gurney and leaned back, his head only a few inches from John's. "You're acting like there's something down there I haven't seen before," he whispered.

John blushed a little. "Not this color you haven't seen them."

"Turning a little black and blue are we?" Carson asked as he turned around, and over some initial protests, pushed the sheet aside.

"What's this 'we' crap? Someone kick _you_ in the balls when I wasn't looking?"

Carson shot Sheppard a look at the surly tone. "Touchy, touchy," he scolded.

"You better not touchy-touchy. Hurts like hell." John crossed his arms over his chest and pulled his knees up, in full pout now.

Taking pity on him, Carson made short work of his exam and then pulled the sheet back over him. "I'm going to get you an ice pack. Just lie back for a minute." He caressed John's hair as he left. Before he could slip past the curtain he swore he heard John mutter, "Not enough that my nuts are turning colors, now he wants my lips to turn blue too." The idea of putting ice there clearly not sitting well with the other man.

Carson wisely let that one go and went to get the ice.

John was moving better and standing up straight later that night, but he still wasn't up to anything… strenuous. Carson gave him some more analgesic around the time the first dose would have started to wear off, but took John's word that the swelling was starting to go down without examining him himself. They sat curled up on the couch watching a DVD, John's head in Carson's lap. Carson was playing with John's hair, discovering that it was possible for it to stick up even more than normal if he tried hard enough.

When he was fairly certain that John's wounded pride had been mollified with drugs and attention, Carson began listing off the things John would need to do to help him recover quickly. John had rolled his eyes when Carson suggested "supportive underwear" for a few days. John had never cared for tighty-whities. The warm baths, on the other hand were met with resounding approval. John and Carson had both found reasons to appreciate the Atlanteans' preoccupation with all things aquatic, including the large, deep bathtubs in each of the living quarters.

"Join me?" John asked.

"I don't think that would be very conducive to your recovery right now," Carson reluctantly admitted.

John thought for a minute, when it came down to it, he knew that sex wasn't going to be a very good idea for a few days. "What if I promise to be good?" Sex was a bad idea, but he wanted a little skin-to-skin snuggling at that point.

Rodney had heard about his little mishap from someone in his department and before long 'blue balls' comments had begun following him everywhere he went. He was a little annoyed for himself, but he had no problem simply turning around and flipping Lorne the bird when he'd been obnoxious in the mess hall that night. He was actually more worried about poor Katie Brown who was acting as if she'd accidentally killed someone's dog. The whole incident had reconfirmed his opinion that she had no business going off world, and he was fairly sure that she wouldn't handle being teased about the whole thing with the same semi-humor John had finally been able to adopt when he'd finally been able to stand up straight. So not only had he been forced to defend his own pride, but hers as well.

Carson seemed to be studying him, trying to decide if John was capable of keeping his promise. "Seriously, I'm not out to do any damage to myself. Just come sit in the tub with me."

Giving in with a sigh, Carson patted his shoulder. "Let me up, I'll start the water."


End file.
